I love you, Lola Bleu
I’ve always been around dogs, pretty much all of my life. My grandmother always had animals at her home. Champagne was my first pet, technically she was my grandmother’s dog. She was a gift from a guy who was a friend of my mom’s. When my mom became pregnant with me, she gave the dog to my grandmother. When I would walk home from school, she would meet me half way and walk home with me. When we moved to Texas in 1992, I was so sad and wanted to bring her with us, but my grandmother said no. I always said that once I become an adult, I would get a dog. I once had a dream about a little dog who had gold, tannish coat. It was a small dog with the cutest underbite. A year after that dream, I was in a training class for a company I had just got hired at and the trainer posted pictures of her puppies that her dog had just given birth to. My eyes went straight for the tiniest puppy. It was the same puppy in my dream. I knew I had to have her and offered the lady money $200.00 to buy the puppy. She was a shorkie, which is a shih tzu and yorkie mixed. I named her Lola Bleu. She was so smart. I took her everywhere with me. She loved to ride in the car. We slept together every night. She loved hugs and to give puppy hugs and doggy kisses. I loved her so much and I know she loved me even more.
Unfortunately, she died January 23, 2016. It will be 3 years the 23rd. It was unexpected. I never thought I would be without her. I still have thoughts of me holding her while she seized. There was a light in her eyes every time she had a seizure. I just don’t know what caused this and it still bothers me to this day. I feel like I let her down. I carry that burden daily. She was a very healthy dog. The vet says it was a neurological issue. That was the worst day of my life. Losing her was like losing a child. I cried every day for a month. It changed me. I still have moments where I will think of her and cry. I just miss her so much and think about her all of the time. People tell me it’s just a dog. But if you aren’t a dog person, then you will never have a clue as to the hurt I still carry for losing that dog. I wish I could change everything about that day. I had her cremated and I keep her little urn on my night stand. I still have all of her doggie clothes, collar, and dog tag.
My son’s dog, Oreo, has been a big comfort for me. I can tell her missed her too. He was very active before this and now he just lays around. I love on him as much as I can. She was older and although he was bigger, she was the leader. We have another dog now, Chico. He is definitely a handful and very active. Have you experienced the loss of a pet? How did you deal with it? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.
Love Always,